Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
