Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
