Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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