im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Found your dick twin last night
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize