one two three fourrrrnication!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
