ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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