Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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