You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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