you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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