i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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