Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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