Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
