I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
