i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
