Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.