Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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