I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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