I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
