I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
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New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
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Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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