dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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