just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
