If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
