Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
