Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
