Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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