Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
