whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
