So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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