So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
