Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
