I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
