She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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