I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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