oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
