I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
