haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
