the day after is always just damage control
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
