VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
