My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
