Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
