she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
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I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
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Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize