you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
