he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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