THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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