About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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