is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
