So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
