I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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