break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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