Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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