i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
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Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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