I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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