the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
