as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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