I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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